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If you've read my second book of Greek memoirs, Moussaka to My Ears, you'll recall my comments about how sheep tend to gather, often in the middle of the road, looking for all the world as though they were having a pre-game pep talk at a ball game.
I wrote something like: "...I do find it quite endearing. These sheep look as though they are having a meaningful discussion. Maybe some expert who speaks 'sheep' will read this and get in touch."
Well whaddaya know? Eddie, who runs the excellent Rhodes Rock event in Lindos every June, has put finger to keyboard and made an excellent suggestion. He writes, in part:
"[Regarding] the passage in Moussaka about what the sheep are talking about when they gather in a circle on the road...
When cometh the day we lowly ones,
Through quiet reflection, and great dedication
Master the art of karate,
Lo, we shall rise up,
And then we'll make the b****r's eyes water.
...Obvious now isn't it ?"
In case you don't recognise the above words; they come from "Sheep" on Pink Floyd's "Animals" album. It's the slightly amended version of Psalm 23 that you can just about hear being recited during the instrumental break. It reads, it its entirety:
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He makes me down to lie
Through pastures green He leadeth me the silent waters by.
With bright knives He releaseth my soul.
He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places.
He converteth me to lamb cutlets,
For lo, He hath great power, and great hunger.
When cometh the day we lowly ones,
Through quiet reflection, and great dedication
Master the art of karate,
Lo, we shall rise up,
And then we'll make the b****r's eyes water.
Lyrics courtesy of http://www.pink-floyd-lyrics.com/
Words that vegetarians everywhere will identify with! And, of course, sheep here on Rhodes will all be Floyd fans, in view of the Lindos-Floyd connection. Makes absolute sense now eh?
Asterisks above because of some of my readers' sensitivities!! No wish to offend and all that stuff...
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"The Pomegranates" is an update on stuff that's been happening to us here on Rhodes lately, "It's only Rock and Rhodes - Again!" is about the new live DVD of their gig at Rhodes Rock 2009 by that "lil' old band from Devon", the fabulous ZZ Tops, "Symi the Third" is further stuff about my weekly trips to Symi as an excursion escort and "Mum's in the Library" is an update with news about my mum's recently published short book about her life as a teenage girl in the 2nd World War, regarding the copy I've donated to the Central Library in mum's home town, Bath, UK.
Please send me some feedback if you like.
I wrote a while back about helping our friend Josie prepare to move to Arhangelos from her present home in Lindos, here on Rhodes. It was while my wife and I were up and down the stepladder, busily "emulsion-ing" walls in Josie's new home, that Dimitra, her new neighbour, had arrived with a tray on which was perched a jug of chilled water, some glasses and a huge plate of sliced water melon.
It was while we were praising Dimitra's welcoming gift as evidence of Greek hospitality to our young Greek friend Dina, who lives with her husband Kosta in Rhodes town, that Dina had replied that it was merely a case of nosiness.
"She wanted to have a nose and see both what her new neighbour was like, as well as what she was doing with the cottage." Dina had remarked.
Well, here we are again at "Rafael," which is what Josie has named her new cottage, and this time we're carrying from the car to the garden a veritable jungle of plants, some in pots and some which have been removed from their heavy pots for ease of transportation, in order to settle them into their new home and give them a good watering in. The car is full of spilt compost and leaves which are the casualties of such a move. Nothing serious though. the Jasmines and Yukkas, the Bougainvillea and Oleander all look like they'll be OK once they become aware that they'll not be moving again for a while.
Back in Lindos it had been a major logistic operation getting the plants from Josie's courtyard to the car. Josie's old home is a rented "Captain's House" right in the thick of the village and some ten minutes walk (for someone not carrying a heavy Yukka in its pot) from the nearest point at which one can position a vehicle in order to rendezvous with said plants. In fact, the house is part-way up the steep and pebbled part of the well-trodden tourist path up to the Lindos Acropolis and we are still well and truly in the tourist season. Yvonne [Maria] had been deposited in the square, beneath the huge plane tree where the shuttle buses turn round and where traffic cops continually blow their whistles at everything with wheels seemingly without taking a breath. As Yvonne was making her way up to Josie's to let her know we were ready to do a "plant run" from old home to new, I smiled at an impatient traffic cop and drove up from the square a few metres, then took the right fork along the small road that leads down to the main beach, where I was hoping to find a space into which I could shoe-horn the car until we had a large enough load of plants sitting on the ground in the square to warrant my coming back for the car and driving it back to the whistle-filled square for a loading session.
Car duly squeezed into a "pay and display" space, and having endured the pain of actually having to pay to park here on Rhodes (the first and only time I've ever done so!) I half-walked and half-jogged back to the square and into the tourist throng in order to join Yvonne and Josie at the house where we'd begin preparing to walk a car-load of plants down to the square.
You can't walk fast in Lindos when there are coach loads of tourists all being led on foot by guides through the tiny streets and alleys. If you are lucky enough to find a relatively free bit of lane, you are more than likely to run into a clutch of donkeys and their handlers, either trotting acropolis-wards or making their return trip to their "garage," each with a well jiggled tourist on its back, trying to look cool. In some lanes you'll see the resident "pooper-scooper" sitting on a small stool, waiting for the donkeys to pass and ready with his shovel to retrieve any deposits which the donkeys may leave on the floor in their passing. Once the animals have ambled by, he'll scan the shiny flags to see if there is any work for him and, on discovering some steamy pellets, will leap up from his stool to whip them off the ground, deposit them in a plastic bag and quickly wash the spot with a bucket of water before the pedestrian tourist can come by and pick up a greenish brown mess (including the obligatory bits of donkey-processed straw) on his or her flip-flops and tread it into the next souvenir shop they head for.
Having fussed about for a while, we were ready for our first trek from house to square. We steeled ourselves and opened the courtyard door in readiness. Once outside the door we crossed the few feet of external terrace, through a small wrought iron gate under a stone arch, and were instantly among the lobster-red, semi clad bodies of a thousand Acropolis pilgrims. Within feet of the gate and heading downhill there are postcards and cotton shirts, lace cloths and restaurant menus, books and bracelets and all kinds of other paraphernalia hanging off the walls of the souvenir shops all waiting to be snagged by the abundant foliage of our burdens as we walked, or more accurately, stopped and started, among the tourist throng. Then there are all the bare shoulders and backs, chests and heads, which are at risk of being "speared" by a rather pointed and rigid Yukka leaf. Extreme caution was required at this juncture. Reason obvious.
On our second sortie, we had only gone a few metres down the lane from Josie's place when a Lindian woman and her friend, standing on the stone step of their little lace shop in the classic stance of the shop-owner's vigil, decided they needed to know who we were, what we were doing and whether it was worth learning about it so they could tell their friends something of interest to the other Lindos residents. The proprietor gave a friendly "kali mera" to Yvonne, with sufficient volume to ensure that my wife stopped and returned the greeting.
Fatal.
"You moving someone? Who is it? Where are they going and why are they leaving Lindos? Or perhaps they move to somewhere else in Lindos? Where do you live? Are you from here? How do you know the person who is moving? Is your house your own?" (if you answer with a "no" here you'll for sure then get a 'my brother has a house for sale, you ought to buy it...') and so on. My wife, having made the mistake of stopping, found herself fielding all these questions from behind a screen of Jasmine foliage, which was effusing from a black plastic bin-liner that was already beginning to tear from the weight of soil which it was carrying, in which the roots of the jasmine were hanging on for grim death. I was walking behind her and so had to stop too because the sheer volume of pedestrian traffic prevented me making a speedy pass at such a narrow place, decorated on each side as it was with shops selling material and garments which hung all over the walls and even from the awnings above our heads.
Having eventually satisfied the woman's curiosity, which involved a moment of sheer delight on her part when she discovered that a) she'd heard of us and b) she knew Josie but hadn't known she was moving, we continued on toward the square with our loads, arms now tearing from their sockets with the weight they were bearing.
Once Josie, Yvonne and I had all managed to be at the square at the same time and we'd amassed a sufficient gathering of diverse and variable sized plants, black bags and pots together to (as I estimated) fill the car and still allow room for three bodies in there too, I left them standing beside the wall of a nearby taverna, which was just beginning to acquire its lunch-seeking clientele, and made off to retrieve the car. Minutes later I braved the whistling cop to draw up outside the taverna on one side of the square where I jumped out and proceeded to open the rear tailgate of the car in readiness for its load.
Shoe-horning plants, tools, empty and full pots and bodies into the car via the rear tailgate and all four doors, I was just preparing to attempt to close said doors when a fat, sixty-something man, evidently the owner of the taverna whose wall beside which we'd gathered, began shouting at me in Greek. The car was right outside the entrance to his precious restaurant and an idiot could see that we were only going to be there a matter of minutes. It was also apparent to anyone who was observant that Yvonne and I were helping our more senior-aged friend with a major logistic task which she'd have found it very difficult to accomplish alone. In short, we were the good Samaritans here. Even the whistling cop had turned a blind eye as he realised what were were up to, knowing full well that within minutes we'd be away and out of his area of jurisdiction.
I wasn't paying any attention to the shouting taverna man until Yvonne nudged me and pointed her gaze at him. He was going blue in the face and using both hands (as all Greeks do), palms outward and extended in front of him pointing down at the tarmac right in front of my feet, which were positioned right behind the rear of my car, where I'd just succeeded against all odds in closing the tailgate without chopping off a large and delicate part of a carefully inserted plant.
Now I am a peaceful sort of bloke and hate to retaliate in kind, but at this precise moment I was very hot, very bothered and very much in a hurry to get out of that square before I overstayed my welcome in a spot where, during the day, the traffic cops do not like to see any cars except a taxi. You can't all together blame them, as the shuttle bus has to get around the tree there for its run back up the hill to Krana square and, if it has to deal with unnecessary obstacles like my little Suzuki swift, the driver gets understandable rattled. He is also trying to minimise the number of gormless tourists he runs over, since they all wander around the square in total oblivion to the fact that buses and taxis regularly turn there. So you have to feel for him, don't you.
So, just as I am about to return to my driver's door and high-tail it out of there, I am faced with a tirade of swearing and "Panagia Mou"s from this taverna owner - and over what?
Looking down at my feet I see a small deposit of plant compost, no bigger than a saucer and no deeper than half an inch in the centre. I can't believe that's what's upsetting this bloke, but it appears that it is. So now I tune my brain into his screaming to find he is indeed saying:
"Who's going to clear all that up? What do you think you're doing leaving that mess outside the door of my taverna?" To say he was making a mountain out of a molehill would be an exaggeration. He was making an Everest out of an egg-cupful. Incidentally, I left out all the swearwords in that brief précis of his tirade too.
It was evident that, although he wanted to make me look the villain, he actually didn't expect me, a tall Caucasian male, to understand his actual words. So he was visibly shaken when I replied in Greek, "What's YOUR problem mister? For goodness sake, it's a couple of yards from your doorway anyway and the weather's hot and sunny (no surprises there then), it'll be dust in a few moments. Fetch me a dustpan and I'll sweep it up myself if it'll quieten you down! Can't you see we're trying to help someone here? You VLAKAS!" (which is a fairly strong insult, roughly translated as MORON!).
Well, I felt quite ashamed that I'd let him get to me, but he chose the wrong moment I suppose. But I'm quite glad in retrospect that I responded as I did because, on realising I could not only understand his words, but could respond in his language, he hastily retreated into his kitchen and didn't come out again. Evidently, he'd let out his tirade to impress his clientele rather than to actually get me to clear up the dirt, which, by the time I'd finished my response, Yvonne had succeeded in dissipating to nothing with a few sweeps of her hand anyway.
So we exited Lindos Square and negotiated all the walking semi-clads on the way up the hill to Krana Square, where we took a right and headed off to Arhangelos, some fifteen minutes drive up the road to Rhodes Town.
So here I am forking some soil in order to insert a Jasmine in what will eventually become Josie's modest little garden. Yvonne and Josie are busy in similar pursuits with Lemon Geraniums and more Jasmine when Dimitra appears from next door, so we all down tools and proceed with the obligatory kiss on both cheeks, exchange pleasantries and listen as she tells us why her leg is all bandaged up. We have to have all the fine detail so we can fully appreciate why she has only narrowly escaped joining her parents in the village cemetary.
This particular day it's late in September and there are two pomegranate trees in Josie's garden. Both of these trees are laden with heavy fruit, which is so abundant that it weighs down several quite large branches. Yvonne asks Dimitra how one knows when to pick pomegranates, as they seem to be as big as they're going to get and, on one of these trees, turning very red as well. The other tree has fruit of the same size, but they all seem to be still green. We're not actually very keen on eating them as the seeds always tend to make it too much hard work. But we understand that pomegranates are very good for you, a fact which Dimitra confirms with her life-acquired wisdom.
"When you pick them? You want to know?" Asks Dimitra, "When the rains come. When the first rains come they are ready. These are ripe now." We had indeed had our first thunder storm a little early this year, during the first week of September.
"But" replies Yvonne, these on this tree are still green. Ought they to be left a little longer?"
"Different type." Dimitra replies, her voice resonating authority on the subject. "Look, I show you." She takes a few steps over to the tree with the green fruit and picks a tennis-ball sized example. She tears it open with her fingers and proffers a piece to me, plus one each to Yvonne and Josie. "Eat!" she says, "This one is very sweet."
She's right, it is. I take a bite out of the pinky-red flesh inside the fruit and ask, while I chew, "What do you do with the seeds? Seems it'll take a month of Sundays to spit them out."
"You chew them." Replies our Pomegranate expert, grinning from ear to ear, this despite her recent brush with death from her now-bandaged leg. "What do you think?"
I have to say, I'd never tasted a Pomegranate like it. Still can't say I'm a convinced fan, but it did taste very nice.
We drive home with a plastic bag full of pomegranates.
"I'll make smoothies." Says my creative wife.
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